


Sheina

by legolegolegomyeggo



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gen, Suicide Attempt, Trans Male Character, Trans Pregnancy, dysphoria and dissasociation, stan///cest shippers do not touch, tw birth, unsafe binding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 20:44:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7453339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legolegolegomyeggo/pseuds/legolegolegomyeggo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stan is 9 months pregnant when his brother sends for him, and instead of a huge fight leading to a portal incident he goes into labor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sheina

**Author's Note:**

> I mainly wrote this for me as a way to cope.
> 
> Stan is a trans man in this, and unfortunately resorts to unsafe binding methods, read more about the harm of it here: http://www.idontdoboxes.org/your-friendly-neighborhood-binding-safety-guide/
> 
> resources to bind safely:  
> http://transguys.com/features/chest-binding  
> http://www.transactiveonline.org/inabind/  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80n-zOIigaQ

"Its okay Stan, you haven't seen your brother in over ten years, but that's fine, you'll be fine." He felt a kick drag across inside his belly. He rest a hand on it. 

"Its okay little guy, your gonna like your uncle ford...I hope."

He knocked on the door.

"WHAT IS IT?! HAVE YOU COME TO STEAL MY EYES?!?!" Ford held the crossbow in his hand. Stan backed away protectively holding his belly, something he came accustomed to doing during his time out in the world.

"Good to know I can always count on you for a warm welcome." 

"Oh Shira, its just you, please come in" he opened the door, Stan tried his best not to waddle in. Stanford grabbed him, flashing a light in his eyes.  
"Hey what the-" his heart rate sped up and his little trooper kicked liked crazy. He subtlety ran a hand down his stomach in attempts to calm them.

"Im sorry, Shira. I had to make sure you weren't... Someone else." He paced around. Stan started to zone out at the use of his birth name. But the shifting in his belly kept him grounded. He realized how tiring it was to stand. 

"Is there a place I can sit down?" Stanford turned to look at him.

"Yes um...over there." He pointed to a chair with books stacked on them. Stan struggled to move them in his condition. But managed, he carefully sat down. There was a long silence, asides from Ford's pacing. Stan rested a hand on his belly. If Stanford didn't notice now, he would soon. Stan had to find a way to break the news to him.

"Look, Stanford I gotta ask you something"

"You're probably wondering why I called you down here." 

"Well yeah, but something else first. I need to know..."

Stanford turned in curiosity. Stan suddenly became very nervous. 

"How...do you...how...being... Uh." Stanford grew confused. Stan suddenly felt a little pain twinging in the lower part of his abdomen.

Oh no.

He froze. This was not happening now. It couldn't be. Not for at least a few more days. 

"Shira? Shira!" Stanford snapped his fingers in front of his face.

"What were we talking about?"

"You were trying to ask Me something."

"Ah...you know what it can wait. Why'd you call Me down here?"

 

*

 

"Remember when we were going to sail around the world together?" Stan looked at him with such hope in his eyes

"Take my book, get on a boat and sail as far away from here as you can" his face fell so fast.

"What? You just-"

"Shira please, I'm giving you a chance to do the first worthwhile thing in your life!" Stan began to get angry and was about to answer back, when a contraction caused him to double over in pain. He could feel something trickle down his leg. His water had broke.

"Shira? What is-" The realization then dawned on Stanford.

"You're pregnant?!?"

"Yeah, and now I'm gonna give- Oh god." Once his contraction had passed, he struggled to stand up. Stanford helped him to his feet.

"There's too much snow,I'll never make it to a hospital." Stanford's mind was racing.

_This was not part of my plan, What am i supposed to do? Why would she even come out here in her condition? Would she end up giving birth here? I cant make her leave now. Not if she couldn't get to a hospital._

"Here let's get back upstairs" he helped him to the elevator.

 

*

 

Stanford knocked on the bathroom door.

"Can I come in?" He asked. Stan splashed the water around a little.

"....Yeah." He opened the door. Stan covered himself with bubbles as he sat in the bath.

"Is the bath helping at all?" Stan nodded. Stanford held a book in his hands. He sat on the edge of the bath and flipped through it.

"This is a book that an...old friend... Left behind when he was expecting his own child. Its a book on home birth. I'm going to read this while we're waiting for your cervix to dilate." Stan nodded. 

"Okay" 

"Shira...why would you risk coming out here in your condition?" 

Stan sighed, tenderly rubbing circles on his belly.

"Shira?"

"We have no where else we can go...got no home...banned in most of the country..." He winced as another contraction came on. Stanford could feel a similar pain in his own abdomen, it was faint, but still there, a sympathy pain he supposed. When it finally passed Stan let out the breath he was holding.

"Its better to do deep breathing when you have a contraction." Stan nodded. 

"Okay." Both sat in silence for a while. Stanford flipped through the book, Stan closed his eyes and let himself relax a little. 

About an hour had passed and another contraction hit. Stan did as instructed and began to breathe deeply. In and out slowly until it had passed, he didn't notice his brother timing it. 

"That one lasted about 30 seconds, and they are about an hour apart." 

"Is that good?" 

"I believe so. I'm going to go gather some supplies for the birth, when the water gets cold, or when something changes, let me know."

"Alright." Stanford turned to leave.

"Hey ford?" He turned to look at him.

"Thank you." Stanford just turned and left. Stan felt his heart drop. His mind drifted to familiar places.

_He hates you._

_They all hate you._

_You were nothing but a burden and that's all you'll ever be._

_You'd be better off dead._

Tears fell down his face, as an idea hatched in his head. 

 

*

 

The water had grown cold, he decided to get out of the tub. He changed into a shirt and a pair of pajama pants his brother had given him. First the pants, then the bandages to hide his breasts, then the shirt, he did his best to get the shirt to fit him. Tight, and and only covered half of his belly, but at least it was clean. As the water drained, He noticed this gross, brownish slime go down the drain. He made a face. once he squeezed most of the water from his long hair, he looked at himself in the mirror. 

He hated what he saw.

Wide hips, long hair, feminine lips. 

It was all wrong. He was all wrong.

He felt a nudge, and watched as his belly shifted around. He gave it a rub, then headed downstairs.

"Hey ford? There was this weird slimey thing going down the drain, and I think it came from me. Is that good or bad?" As he reached the bottom of the steps he noticed ford just standing there.

"Ford?" He jumped and almost dropped the towels in his hands. as he turned to see Stan He sighed,remembering what was going on.

"Sooo as I was saying-"

"I heard, it was probably your mucus plug." He set the towels down and plopped down on the couch. Pinching the bridge of his nose. Stan waddled over.

"Can I sit down next to ya?" Stanford merely scooted over. Stan sat down as gently as Possible. When he was comfy he leaned as far back as he could while stretching his legs out. He watched as his baby kicked and prodded his belly, they weren't far down enough to stop their kicking yet, an indicator stan still had a while to go. He rubbed his hand up and down his tummy, giving it a little pat. Stanford watched intently.

"You wanna feel?"

"Excuse me?"

"Cmon, I know you're curious." Stanford slowly held his hand up to his brother's belly. Stan took it and placed it where the baby kicked the most. Stanford could feel a firm, slow, jab against his palm. He rubbed his hand around the spot until he couldn't feel it anymore.

"Do you...know where the father is?" Stan looked away, that was something he didn't want to think about.

"Shira?" Stan winced. Another contraction. He began breathing, clenching his fists and waiting for it to pass. Once it did, he began to speak.

"No idea, and I hope I never see him again." His voice cracked on the last few words. He wanted to cry, but refused in front of his brother.

"Why?" Stan sighed. A minute of silence passed. Stan spoke up again, and when he did, he couldn't stop the words from coming out.

"I was a dumbfuck, he bought me a drink, fucked me, and left me in an alley. I fucking...I was dumb enough to think someone genuinely wanted to know me, to like and flirt with me. Dumb enough to put my trust in someone. I let it..." He couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence. He sniffed, and the tears he refused to let fall found a way. He didn't dare look at Stanford. He couldn't take a look of anger or disappointment from him. But if he had actually look he would see understanding. Stanford put a hand on his shoulder.

"Shira..." Stanford didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he could do to make it better. He tried to say something, but no words came. 

Stan did his best to get up, he found himself pushed back down by his brother. 

"I'm gonna finish gathering the supplies, please stay here." He left Stan to swim around in his own thoughts. 

_He can't stand you_

_Can't even stand to sit close by._

_You ruin everything._

_You'd be better off dead._

 

*

 

The pain just kept getting worse, so Stan tried some of the positions in the book, on his knees with his arms resting on the seats of the couch. He groaned as his contractions got closer and closer together. Stanford came back with arms full of any possible supplies he could find.

Some first aid kits, a bowl for warm water, a washrag, plastic sheets, towels, shears, and a blanket. He also got his custom made rubber gloves which he washed thoroughly. He put them on, and set it up so that Stan could use the couch for his birth, while still keeping it as clean as possible.

"Shira, I know this awkward and embarrassing, but I need to check your cervix, it may be almost time for you to push. Can you take your pants off?" Stan nodded as another contraction hit.

"Okay, I'm going to give you a little privacy, and go boil some water" he turned and headed to the kitchen. Stan slowly wiggled out of the pants and covered himself with a towel. He checked the watch Stanford put on his wrist to time his contractions. This was the longest one yet. After about 20 minutes he came back with a bowl full of steaming water. He set it down, and sat on the floor in front of Stan,who was on the edge of the couch.

"Shira, you need to move the towel and spread your legs" slowly he did as instructed. He examined his dilation.

"I don't think your quite there yet. Maybe a few more contractions and you'll be ready to push." Stan quickly moved the towel back over his legs. Stanford handed him the book on birthing positions. He flipped through it, as he waited. After 10 minutes, another few contractions, and starting to feel the urge to push. He had Stanford check again.

"I think now its time to push." Stan got into a position that was most comfortable for him. 

"Alright. The book says you when you feel the urge to you should push."

"Okay."

"Practice taking deep breaths okay?" Stan breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth. He did this a couple more times until Stanford put a hand up. 

"You ready?" Stan nodded, there was too much pain to speak.

"Alright go ahead and push." Stan did the best he could.

 

*

Hours of pain and pushing had passed. Until the head started to crown

"Okay, I think we only have a few more pushes left!" Stan groaned in relief at that. He could feel a burning sensation, and shifted to a better position as best he could. His moans of pain got louder as he worked and pushed.

"They're almost out, just one more push!" Stan pushed with whatever strength he had left, then he finally heard that cry.

That sweet little cry. His baby was finally here in the world.

"She's a girl!" His beautiful baby girl.

"Please let me hold her, please." There was such a desperation in his voice. Ford quickly cleaned her as best he could, cut the cord, and placed her in his arms. Stan got a look at his baby girl.

She was all scrunched up, purple, still had chunks of blood around her face.

The most beautiful thing Stan had ever laid eyes on. For once in his life, he cried happy tears. He sniffed to clear his nose. She opened her eyes. A soft brown, just like his own.

"Hey there sweetie." He cooed. She looked up at him. Stan stroked her tiny cheek. Once the placenta was delivered, Stanford came over to his side. He was tired but smiled at them. Stan looked up at ford.

"Heh, how do you feel now that you're an uncle?" That's right, he was an uncle now. It took a few minutes for it to set in, but the baby in Stan's arms was his niece. His niece. 

"I don't know...not much different I guess...listen Shira you need to start feeding her." Stan frowned.

"...Then you need to hold her for a second while I do something." He reluctantly handed her to Stanford. He took her and kept his face looking at the baby as Stan took off his shirt, and began to undo the bandages. He slipped his shirt back on once he finished and took his child back into his arms. He moved the collar down and began to breast feed.

"Shira, why were you using bandages?" Stanford had a sneaking suspicion why, but wanted to hear the truth for himself. Stan pretended not to hear, and concentrated on the child suckling at his breast.

"Shira, please answer me" Stan simply could not take the use of his birth name much longer.

"Shira-"

"Please don't call me that."

"...Alright...what do I call you then?" 

"...Stan"

"Stan? But that's a man's name." Stan looked up at him, Stanford could see the fear in his eyes.

"Oh...you think you are a man."

"It won't matter soon."

"What do you mean?"

"...If I take your book, will you take my baby girl?" Stanford was taken by surprise. Stan Continued. 

"I have no home, and not a dollar to my name. I can't give her the life she needs, but you? You have money, a roof over your head. You're smart, you can teach her. Give her what I could never even dream of. " 

"Shi...Stan...I can't raise a child."

"I need you to. Please. I'll take your book far away if you can give her a chance at a good life. I can't just let her get stuffed into some strange place, wondering why nobody wanted her. I want her to have a family. Please." 

"...if I do, you have to promise never to come back." Stan looked at him. He knew that ford hated him, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt to hear those words. With the plan he had in mind, rest assured there was no way he ever could.  
He nodded. 

He looked down fondly at his baby girl, who had long since fallen fast asleep. 

"Her name is Sheina." Sheina Pines. His baby girl.

*

Stan stood at the edge of the bridge, he looked down over the side. 

_This wouldn't be so bad._

He got up over the railing.

_She's gonna get the life she deserves, and this way...I can't screw it up._

In his mind its what he deserved. 

He was about to let go when he he heard a faint voice call his name.

He could barley make it out, but he heard it, and looked back to see a figure coming up into the distance.

"Shira!" It called. That hurt, and Stan really wanted to let go.

"Stan!" It called this time, it sounded like Stanford. The figure approached holding a bundle in his hands.

"Stan what are you doing?" Stanford yelled. Sheina began to cry. It tugged at Stan. 

"Please get away from the edge." Stan could see the tears in his eyes. He wondered why he could only hurt. He didn't dare move.

"Stan please, don't." He didn't believe the words coming from his brother's mouth. He merely stared emptily.

"Please stay, stay for Sheina at least" Stan looked his baby girl who wailed.

Slowly he worked his way back over the rail. 

When he was safely on the ground, Stanford rushed over and pulled him Into a hug. Stan felt numb, and confused as they cried into his shoulder.

"Shi-er Stan...Stan... Oh Stan" he clung to him. Sheina soon calmed down, being close to her dad. 

"We need to go" Stanford began to walk away. Stan stood in silence.

"Stan?" More silence. Tears were falling down his face. 

"Please come with me." Stanford began walking back over to him. 

"We need you." 

He worked Sheina into Stan's arms. Stan looked at her. Trying her best to sleep in this cold. He started to walk forward. Stanford sighed in relief. He wrapped a hand around Stan's shoulder. He began to talk about getting him help, get him back on Track, making sure that Sheina had what she needed. 

But Stan didn't hear a word, he simply watched the rise and fall of his baby's chest, as she slept.


End file.
